Connection (Frontlines - Week 3)

What if the deepest longing in your heart—to truly belong—could be satisfied right where you are? Shawn reveals how Paul's radical vision in Romans 12 transforms isolated strangers into devoted family through gospel-shaped community. When Shawn moved during COVID lockdowns, he discovered the ache of isolation that we all carry, but found hope in Paul's call to "practice hospitality"—actively pursuing strangers to make them friends. This isn't just about being nice; it's about living out the revolutionary love of Jesus who left heaven's comfort to welcome outsiders like us. Don't miss this transformative message that could change how you connect!

Transcript

Hey, good morning, everybody. Good to see you this morning. I hope you had a good week. This last week I got to celebrate my 9th anniversary as part of the Sherwood Oaks staff. And it's just so good, man.

I love to serve here and. Aw, thank you.

And you may know, our first three years we were down at our Bedford campus and so leading that little community. And it was just so much fun being a part of that kind of expression of our church. And when we moved to Bedford, like, we wanted to be like in the heart of Bedford. And so we bought a house, right? I mean, just a couple of blocks off of the main road that goes through and just kind of built friendships there, built community there.

We really enjoyed living in that small little town and got a lot from it. And so when we. When we moved up to Bloomington, there was a part of us that was kind of sad leaving that community that we had built behind, even though it had only been a few years. And we sold our house in late February, 1st of March, 2020. We, like, had some of you even came over to help us move all of our stuff out of our house and into a storage unit because we had no idea where we were going to live.

And so we put it all there and we moved back into my in laws basement again, which if you know part of my story, God always seems to meet me in my in laws basement. And so like, I was there. We were there for a few months as we were kind of finishing up finding a house and. And we bought our new house in Bloomington and we moved in in June of 2020. And you can imagine as we were pulling into the neighborhood, unpacking all of our stuff, all of our neighbors were peering out their window going, who are you and what germs are you bringing with you?

They were practicing social distancing with the best of them. And so we moved into our home. And I'm telling you, it was a long time before we really got to meet and know any of our neighbors. And like, I'm a very social. I love being around people.

I'm an introvert in the fact that, like, being around people as much as I love it, it kind of drains my battery. And so I recharge when I'm kind of alone and by myself. But I love to be around people. And so I would come into the office during the week and then I would go home and I want to meet some of my neighbors, but there's just nobody around. Nobody wants to, like, engage and form a friendship.

And there was One guy that lived across the street from us, we would have a shouting across the yard relationship. And I was grateful for that. But it's really hard to meet your neighbors and develop new friends and a new community when everybody is being told, stay away from each other. And so I got to a point where, like, I felt a little isolated. And I thought, I don't like this.

And it doesn't matter who you are. It does not matter your personality style. It doesn't matter if you are an extrovert or if you are an introvert. However, God has wired you. We were all created to be in community with other people, people.

We were designed to be in community with others. We talked about it last week that. That the image of God is firmly implanted in every one of us. And. And so we express God's character, we express his attributes.

And we see in Genesis 1:26 that, you know, God says, let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness. We talked about it last week, but there's a communal asp. The nature of God. God has always existed for all eternity in community. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.

And so when he created us, he created us to be in community. It is hardwired into who we are.

But experiencing this type of community can be really hard sometimes. And there's a lot of reasons why it can be difficult. We are busy, busy people. This time of year especially, it just seems like we are traveling. We are parents involved in sports.

We're busy between work and school and practices and games and rehearsals and doctor's appointments and trying to figure out what is for dinner and. And we're just flat exhausted. And like, relationships take a little bit of emotional work. And some of us, we're just so spread thin that we just don't feel like we've got it in us to form those friendships. And so we just kind of go home and relax and like, maybe we've got some acquaintances.

We wouldn't say that. We've got deep friendships, little buzz. I want to say that we have deep friendships. Maybe you have, like, put yourself in that vulnerable position before and you felt rejected, maybe even tried doing that in a church. You hear Beth talk about joining a group and you're like, I tried that.

And they were awkward. I was awkward. I didn't feel like there was a connection there. Maybe you've been hurt by somebody that you put your trust in and they let you down. And so now you just kind of keep people at arm's length.

You just don't know who your people are. You don't know where you belong, where you fit in. And so I think there can be this tension inside of us where we were made for community. We maybe even desire to be living in community with others and, and to be known and loved. And yet we have this like something inside that's like, ugh, but it's not safe or I don't know that I want to go there.

I don't know that I want to try that again. I think deep down all of us want people in our lives who know us, who love us, who are going to show up when we celebrate, who's going to show up when we mourn. And life is difficult. We want that type of community, but we don't always know if we'd be welcomed into it. And what we're going to see in our text today is that the gospel creates a new kind of community where everyone can belong.

The gospel creates a new kind of community where everyone can belong. In Romans 12, Paul paints a picture of what a gospel shaped community looks like. What it looks like when, when people who are being formed and shaped by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, the new life that is living in them, the, the Holy Spirit that is, that is transforming them into the image of Jesus. He paints this beautiful picture of what it looks like when people who, who are committed to following Jesus come together and the type of community that, that they form, the, the characteristics that should be a part of them. And to really understand why these words are so beautiful and countercultural, we have to understand a little bit about the culture to which they were written.

Like, we know our culture and we'll kind of get to that. But the Roman culture, these words would have been incredibly revolutionary. They were written, this letter was written by the Apostle Paul to the church in Rome. It was a single church in Rome. And when we think church, oftentimes we think of the body or the building that word church.

It represents like the body of Christ, the people who come together, the gathering of believers. And so there would have been like different house church expressions maybe, but they were one group of believers who worshiped and who served the Lord and were following Jesus together. And Paul is writing to the church, meaning that they were so united that there wasn't like a church on every corner. Like maybe some of you, like myself, you passed by like five different churches on your way here this morning. And if you don't like, you know, something that's being done in one church or you don't like the people there.

You can just be like, well, I'm going to go and I'm going to try this church over here. It saves us maybe from awkward conversations or trying to work some things out. This church that Paul is writing to, they didn't have that. It's like if, if, if you didn't like what was going on, well, you better start talking about it. You better start trying to work it out.

If you didn't like the people that you worship with. Man, work through those relationships, learn how to love one another in the midst of what maybe is conflict or disagreement or misunderstanding. And so Paul is writing this letter to the church in Rome that is filled with people from all kinds of walks of life and all kinds of backgrounds like they would not have naturally collected in a room together. There were wealthy Roman citizens and there were poor laborers who worked for them. There were Jews and Gentiles who came from very different religious places.

It was likely that most people in the church in Rome in had spent a lot of time and energy learning how to stay separated from each other because lines and rank and position meant a lot to them. So they spent a lot of time learning how to be different and separate from one another. They all had different customs, different assumptions, different preferences.

And then Jesus comes along and he invites people from all walks of life, from all backgrounds to start following him. He sends the church out into the world. And so you have the world coming together to worship and follow Jesus. And you can imagine there's some relational strife that begins to take place. Old habits of division can be hard to break.

But the Gospel tears down those dividing walls and invites us into a new kind of community.

And so Paul is writing to this church not merely just to say, hey, be nice to each other, learn how to get along. He's saying, this is what it looks like to be in a community that is shaped by Jesus. And so let's look at these words together. I want to start in verse 2 of Romans chapter 12. And Paul has spent the first 11 chapters talking about how Jesus came for everyone.

We all need Jesus. And then this is what he says in verse 2. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Paul is calling these Roman Christians out of the way that they used to live. He's calling them out of the way that the culture behaves and treats one another. The pattern of the Roman culture was to only be connected with people who were like you, who could improve your social standing, who could help you and elevate your status. And Paul is saying, don't conform to that pattern anymore. Let the Gospel shape you and the community that you are in.

This is what he says in verse nine. Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good, be devoted to one another in love, honor one another above yourselves in my Bible, and maybe it's in yours. There's a little section heading there that says love in action. Paul is teaching us how to put love in action based on the love that we have received in Jesus.

And he uses the word in our English translations. We see the word love twice there, but it's actually two different words that Paul uses. The first one in verse nine when he says love must be sincere is the word agape. And maybe you've heard this before. Agape is like a sacrificial love.

It's a sacrificial love where you put the needs of others above yourselves. It is a rich, deep, lay my life down for you kind of love. It is more than just describing something that you really like. It is a deep connection and sense of love for someone. And then the second word that he uses in verse 10 is the word Philadelphia, like the city, which means brotherly love.

It's this connection type of love with another person who maybe is not a part of your family, but man, you love them like a brother, you love them like a sister. And I think when Paul talks about brotherly or sisterly love, sibling love, he knows that that's not always easy. He knows that there's going times where that's really difficult. I don't know if you grew up with a sibling or what that was like for you, but I remember there are times where my little brother Chad and I, we got along really well. And there was one time that I have a distinct memory of Chad chasing me around our backyard with a baseball bat.

And like he would have hit me if given the opportunity. Paul knows that there are times where we will argue and we will bicker with one another, but we work things out because we belong to the same family. So the Gospel is creating these new connections. There's no more outsiders, there's no more favorites. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, sincerely loving and devoted to one another.

And then we read this in verse 11. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

And I want to linger on that last phrase. Those two words there for just a little bit, practice. Hospitality. It's a fascinating phrase. It's two Greek words that Paul puts together.

The first one, translated practice in the niv, it's the Greek word dioko. And this word means to pursue something, to carry out, to chase after something. It is an active word. Like, you can't sit back and pursue something. You can't wait around and chase after something.

There is an intentional action that is to take place whenever this word is being used. And then the second word is a compound word, and it's the word philoxenia. It's made up of two different Greek words. The first one is philos, and it's kind of a root of the word Philadelphia, brotherly love. Philos is the love of a friend.

And then the second word is zenos, stranger or foreigner. And so you put these together, and what Paul is not saying is, hey, chase after strangers until you make them friends. Like that could come with some stalking charges. That's not what he is getting after. I think instead what he's saying is, pursue a life that helps strangers become friends.

Pursue a life that helps strangers become friends. I mean, I'm so grateful for the people that are even in this room right now that have lived this out for me. They practiced hospitality. They pursued me when I was new, when I didn't know anybody, when I was isolated in my own neighborhood, and they reached out, and now they're some of the dearest friends that I have in my life. And Paul is saying, let's be that for other people.

Let's be people who don't just sit back and wait for people to come to us and be nice to them and welcome them into our homes and feed them a meal. Like, oftentimes when I think of hospitality, I think of something that's a little bit more passive, something that we do when somebody comes to us. But what Paul is saying here is, no. Hospitality should be motivated by Jesus who came for us to go out to others, to help others who feel like they are distant, like they are isolated, like they are alone, helping them feel like they have a place where they can belong, that they are welcomed. And this is a community that is about so much more than just being nice to people.

It is about pursuing people who feel lost or forgotten, who feel like they are strangers, and making them feel welcomed. It's taking that first step towards somebody going out of your way, even if it's uncomfortable, to make them feel like they belong. So this is how we put love into action. And then Paul gets really practical. Some of my favorite passages about what Christian community looks like are found right here.

He says, bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.

Do not be conceited. And this isn't just Paul's version of how to win friends and influence people. This isn't just how to like, get people to think well of you. This is how to allow the gospel to change the way that you interact with other people. That when they come after you and say something about you that maybe is not true, or something that is true, but just inflammatory.

Like man, seek to bless them, not to curse them. Find a way to be able to rejoice with those who rejoice. And that's good when it's people that like, you're like and you're cheering for. But sometimes in the church there are people that we don't get along with. And so can you rejoice with them when they rejoice?

Can you mourn with them when they mourn?

To live in harmony and not be proud and put ourselves above other people, to not look at them as only people that we can get something from and like this would have been completely countercultural. In the Roman society.

People were constantly trying to climb the social ladder. And honor was a state of currency. And so a social associating with someone of lower position. For you, it's not only that they didn't have the ability to pull you up the social ladder. It's that they, they would tear you down from it.

And if your whole goal is to climb that ladder, man, you don't want people who are going to be pulling you down from it. And Paul's saying, no, do it any.

The gospel comes and tears down these barriers where we only look to people for what we can get from them. We put them before ourselves. The gospel destroys the ideas of status and posturing and positioning and maintaining dividing lines. These are all opposite the way of Jesus. The gospel creates a new kind of community where everyone can belong.

Rich, poor, Jews, Gentiles, successful, struggling, those who have their lives together and those who don't.

One of the core tenets of the gospel is that the foot. Everyone stands on equal ground at the foot of the cross. All of us do. There is no one who is more deserving and no one who is less deserving. We stand on equal ground at the foot of the cross.

And because of the transformative work of Jesus, we don't conform to the patterns of our world that still wants to divide, that still wants to look at what we can get from other people, those that we associate with, those that we want to be seen around.

Instead, we have been called to love sincerely, to love sacrificially, to be devoted to one another like family, to honor one another, to be known and to know others. So Romans 12 isn't just inviting us into superficial friendliness. Paul is describing a type of community that is rich and meaningful, that you don't have to hide your struggles, you don't have to try to impress anybody, you don't have to earn your place at the table.

I'm wondering, do you have a group of friends like that?

Do you have people like that in your life?

I've been a part of a ministry for the last eight or nine years called Covenant Connections. And if you've been around, you've heard me talk about it. This group, man, it means so much to me. We make a three year commitment to each other. It's a group of five pastors.

We get together, we're just kind of in each other's lives. We're talking about how are we doing following Jesus, Are we maintaining our love for him while we're serving the church, our love for our wives, our kids? We do monthly zoom calls just to kind of check in on each other, to hold each other accountable, but to hold each other close. We do two spiritual retreats each year. I was a part of a group for three years when that one came to a close.

The idea is after three years, you break off and you start a new group. And so I started a new group and walked with them for a few years. And I just started a new group this year. Man, these guys, I know, like, they are men that I can turn to if I'm struggling. They are men that if something happens in our church, in our family, that, man, I want to celebrate.

They're some of the first guys that I message. I had a message this morning while I was preaching the 8 o' clock service from one of the guys just saying, hey, praying for you. Like, these are men who know me inside and out and I know them and I'm grateful for them.

I wonder if you have community like that.

If you don't, maybe your first step is to take that step into community. Join a group, join a serve team, attend, discover Sherwood Oaks. I love. Last week I heard every Tuesday morning we get Together and do like little staff celebrations within our divos. And I heard that somebody that was at Discover Sherwood Oaks on Sunday, when they were going around doing introductions, they said, hi, my name is and I am a child of God.

Like, yes, they listened to the sermon. That's awesome.

Like, go get to know some people. We want to help you. And I know that you are busy, we are all busy. But if you wait to find community until you're no longer busy, it's not gonna happen. If you wait to find community until you need people in your life to come alongside of you, it's going to be too late.

I've been thinking lately about this 5 rule. Like, what's gonna matter in 5 minutes? What's gonna matter in 5 days, 5 months, 5 years? And I realized just how much of my life I spend focused on things that are going to matter in five minutes. And community, like, this is something that is going to matter in five years.

You don't know that you need it now, but something's going to happen down the road where you're going to be glad that you have it. We give our time to the things often that's just right in front of our face. And we miss out on investing in the things that, that we really need. So who are you in community with? Who are you building those relationships with?

And maybe for you, you've stepped into it. And so now my challenge to you is to create community.

Maybe you've experienced the blessing of a connect group. Someone made room for you, they reached out to you, they invited you into their home, into their lives. You've been a of part that shares joys and pains with each other. You know, the blessing of being a part of a community like this. I just want to ask you, maybe could the Lord be calling you to step out of that group that you've been in that you love, that you know, that you enjoy?

Could he be calling you to step out of that group and create a group for someone else to be able to experience that kind of community? I know how hard it is. This is not easy when you're a part of a group of people that you love. You just want that to stay together. You want to protect that.

But I think gospel community is willing to put aside what we want, our preferences, what is easy to step out, to pursue a life that helps strangers become friends.

And so if you've been a part of a group for a while, I just want to challenge you to start praying about maybe stepping out and launching your own group. So that somebody else can experience the type of community that means so much to you. We have people all the time that are looking to be a part of a group. What we don't have are leaders for them to be able to start that.

I look at many of our groups, my own included, and think this group is filled with leaders, people who are needed to help others experience that community. And so if you're interested and maybe want to talk more about what that looks like as you're praying through it, I know Beth would, would love to talk to you. Her email, it's the best of anyone on staff for their position. Our group's coordinator. Her email is belong.

All right. It just cannot get any better than that. B the letter and then long occ.org I know that she would love to get you connected with a group or help you figure out what it looks like to lead a group. I'll close with this. Back in verse 11 and 12, Paul talks about never being lacking in passion for the Lord to continue serving him.

He tells us to be joyful in hope and patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. And these are words that who are followers of Jesus to live by. But they're really at the heart of our deacons ministry. And so I'd just like to invite our deacons to come up and join me on stage. Now can we welcome them and give them a hand?

So Joseph, we talked earlier today that you your title isn't deacon czar or head honcho, although it should be. And I think they would all agree that you do a great job of leading this group. But what is your title within our deacon? I'm the deacon chair. The deacon chair.

Yeah. And so tell us a little bit about who the deacons are and what you all do. Yeah, absolutely. So the deacons here at Sherwood Oaks, essentially, to piggyback off of your message, the goal is to find the people that are most at risk of losing their communities, community, and make sure that we surround them. This is based off of biblically, in Acts 6, when the early church was being formed, the apostles decided that, hey, we're going to set aside seven people at that time.

And what they're going to do is specifically care for the people that are the most at risk. In this case, it was widows. And so we continue to try to reach out to people that are widows, homebound in nursing homes and anyone else that just is at risk of losing their community. Yeah, it's such an important ministry and you guys do a wonderful job with that. So Tell us a little bit about what that looks like.

You have a story of how this has kind of come together. Yeah, absolutely. So there's so many different types of situations, and every. Every person is different. One thing that really stood out to me is the reason that this is so important.

I was visiting someone in a nursing home, and it was a situation where I was going to go every week for a month, went the second week, and they said, oh, I'm so glad to see you. I haven't had any visitors since you were here last week. And that's tough. You know, it weighs on you a little bit and to be able to reach out to those people. But at the same time, you know, we've had groups here at the church where we just bring widows and widowers in just to give them community.

Maybe they're not in desperate need of community, but it's something we want to make sure that they stay plugged into. It gives them a place where they know they're not alone, they belong. The ice cream social that you all do every spring is always a big hit. And helping with that. Absolutely.

And so today we are installing, I guess, a new deacon friend, Derek Bailey. Derek, come on up here. Many of you may know Derek and his family, and we love that. And your. Your dad, boy Brian, passed away.

How long ago was that? Four years ago. Four years ago. And your dad was a deacon in this church and long, long time elder, and we miss him. And man, I just know that he would be so proud of you right now.

And I think about the qualities and characteristics of a deacon. Eric, you live these things out. You model it for us, for your family, for the church, and so grateful for you. And I just want to invite us to all surround Derek now as Jamie, the chairman of our elders, is going to lead us in a time of prayer.

Heavenly Father, we are just so grateful for the men and women on this stage and the other deacons who are willing to be your hands and feet oftentimes to people who are in need and isolated and just for those who need you most. And Lord, we're so grateful that Derek has answered the call to join this group, to join this ministry. And Lord Jesus, we just commit him to you. We ask that you would just bless he and his family as he steps into this new role, that you would lead and guide him in it, and that he would just continue with this group to make an eternal difference in the lives of others. We love you and we praise you and we again commit this group to you in Jesus name.

Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, guys, for everything that you do. Appreciate you so much.

Such an important ministry. And these are faithful men and women who love others like they are living out Romans 12. Listen, they are living out Romans 12 in our church, but they are not living out Romans 12 for our church. Paul calls all of us to be devoted to one another, to be sincere in the way that we love each other, to practice hospitality, to rejoice and mourn together. The Gospel creates a new type of community where everyone can belong.

We were made to experience this kind of connection with other people. And our lives find a sense of purpose and satisfaction when we walk in community with one another. So let me ask you some questions as we leave today. Number one, who knows the real you?

Are there people in your life who know who you really are, not just the image that you want to project to others? Is there something inside of you that desires that?

Number two, who rejoices when you rejoice, mourns when you mourn. What a gift to have people in your life who celebrate with you, who cry with you.

Number three, who would notice if you're gone?

You have people that your absence would be felt.

And the last question is, who is one person God is calling you to pursue this week, to practice hospitality with, to let them know that they belong, that they have a home in your home and in your church.

Imagine a church where no one grieves alone, where people celebrate together, where strangers become family, where people don't have to pretend, where you're being transformed by Jesus together. This is the picture that Paul is painting in Romans 12 of the type of community that is created by Jesus. Life, death, and resurrection. He's inviting us to step into this. The Gospel is the story of Jesus leaving the comfort of heaven and making room for us.

We were strangers, we were outsiders. We were people who didn't belong. But Jesus came to us and he made room for us in God's kingdom. Kingdom through his life, death, and resurrection. And so may we live in that and do that for others, and may we just rest in it as well.

And that's what this response time is about. This morning. Maybe you're here and you feel a little bit like an outsider and you feel a little alienated and you're not sure where you belong. I want you to know Jesus has made a place for you here. And we don't always get community rights.

And there are stories that I hear sometimes that just make me go, oh, man, we missed it.

But can we Try our best to be a community that makes room for others and welcomes them the way that Jesus welcomed us. And we want to welcome you and help you find and follow him. So if you need to talk with somebody, pray with somebody this morning about following. We've got some people around the room, room with lanyards that would love to pray with you, help you take your next step and communion this morning. Let's just let this be a time where we thank God that Jesus came pursuing us, leaving the comfort of heaven, showing the agape love, sacrificial love to bring us into his family.

And so we've got some stations up front and then back and some cups with bread and juice to help us remember his body that was given and his blood that was shed to do just that. And so God, meet us here in this moment as we commune with you.

Thank you, Lord, for our friends that are closer than brothers and sisters, for the family of your church that you've invited us into and, and your church, it is. It's not perfect.

We can be really good at hurting others and making others feel like outsiders at times. But Lord, I just pray that we'll be different, that we'll allow the gospel to shape us and to be people that invite others to join this community that you are forming because we want them to experience the love and grace and joy of a relationship with you. I pray it in Jesus name, Amen.